


Bruised heart

by Naralyn94



Category: Scrubs (TV)
Genre: Angry Sex, Angst with a Happy Ending, Eventual Romance, Eventual Smut, Fluff, M/M, Smut, i can't write, post turks wedding
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-10
Updated: 2019-11-21
Packaged: 2020-11-28 17:56:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 6,981
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20970671
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Naralyn94/pseuds/Naralyn94
Summary: What happens when Pery Cox gets overwhelmed with emotions and J.D. gets caught in his webs? I don't know, who cares, I can't write.





	1. Prologue I guess

**Author's Note:**

> Please leave a comment with suggestions/opinions

You know those moments when you wish you had the guts to do something selfish for yourself but you're afraid to hurt the feelings of people around you, so you die a little on the inside instead, pretending everything is alright and you're not bothered by the events that are happening against your wishes? I hate them. Moreover I hate myself for cowardly smiling rather than taking the risk and doing something for myself. Like taking Elliot's hand and bring her back to me. Instead I let her go back to Sean, with her heart slightly broken by my 'I don't love you'. It's not like I don't have any feelings for her anymore, and I know this will eventually come back to kick me in the butt, but right now I'm just too stressed over my job to focus on relationship with her. At least that's what I'm telling myself, especially after the sucker punch she gave me on the rehearsal dinner.

  
Turk and Carla's wedding was a bit of a fiasco if you ask me but I guess it could be worse, given the fact that they got married at the end of the day anyway in a hospital room by that sick priest. It was strange seeing Dr. Cox being happy for the two of them, considering his former massive crush on Carla that both Jordan and Turk knew about.

  
"Hey Sherley, how about instead of pining for the Barbie after your break up you pick yourself up and focus? This is your last week of being a resident, woman up or get out of my sight."

  
That was the first thing I've heard when coming back to work the day after wedding with my eyes still bloodshot from staying up late and drinking away my sorrows. Not about Elliot, about Turk. I know many things will change between us but he's my best friend and now that he's on the honeymoon with Carla I miss him more than ever.  
"Dr. Cox! I'm not-I'm not pining for anyone." I turn around swiftly, pushing the pen I've been clicking with for the past ten minutes into my breast pocket.  
"Jesus Lisa your face looks like hell, how about you go wash off those girly tears and tend to your patients without scaring them by looking like a zombie. Shoo!" Dr.Cox gestured.

  
After those three years at Sacred Heart I realized that despite his rudeness and calling me girl names I am not afraid of him. It started two years ago, after I slept with Jordan, not knowing she's his ex wife. Despite his obvious lies that he doesn't care for her he was incredibly pissed, taking out his anger rightfully at me. He showed up at my apartment late at night, drunk and angry, but the beating I thought I was gonna get didn't occur. Instead something else happened. Something that made me pray for Turk's shift not to finish early and come home during middle of the angry sex we had on the living room couch.

  
Following morning I came to work with bitemarks carefully hidden underneath my scrubs, bruises on my hips, and scratch marks on my back that stung every time my shirt rubbed against my skin. Despite the wild night we had Dr. Cox treated me as usual without a bat of an eye, calling me Kimberley and Tina. it's a sad thought that I remember every single of the girl names he ever called me.

  
Second time this happened was when Jordan appeared in front of us again, pregnant and needy for his comfort. Without knowing the child is his Dr. Cox decided to take the responsibility for her, letting her fall asleep in his bed while he left, calling me out for a drink. We never talked about what happened between us, but after few drinks and his hand squeezing my waist tightly as we drunkily wobbled out of the pub, I knew. Somehow we managed to stumble into an hourly hotel, you know one of the cheap ones where you take your hooker an leave before morning so your wife doesn't know you cheated on her.  
It was wild, spontaneous and aggressive, but despite the alcohol in our system like before, there was something different about it. In the heat of the moment he called my name. Not something girly, not even J.D., but John. Over and over, between his groaning and my gasping he said it, moaned it, whispered it in my ear. That morning I woke up alone, with the faint feeling of the kiss he gave me secretly as I was drifting off to sleep.  
He wasn't as subtle as before to leave marks only underneath the clothes, I ended up with a pretty big hickey and bitemark on my neck that Carla hastily covered with foundation that was several shades darker than my skin. "Bambi you can't be walking around with that thing on your neck." she lamented. Oh memories.

  
\--

  
As I wash my face off in the changing room my mind slightly wanders off towards yesterday. Seeing Elliot leave with Sean hurt, but she wasn't the only thing keeping me up and drinking. Main reason was seeing Dr.Cox with Jordan happily walking around hand in hand, gazing at each other lovingly and enjoying their time alone without baby Jack. It pissed me off, seeing everyone being so dandy. What bothered me extremely was the fact that even after doing it with me the second time, Dr.Cox wouldn't talk to me about it. Gosh, no wonder he calls me feminine names, I'm thinking like such a girl. "It was just sex, buck up J.D." I mutter to myself, splashing another handful of water onto my face.

  
"I mopped here. Five minutes ago." Janitor's voice was something my brain decided to block out for the time being. I continued to rinse off my face with him ranting about this and that, and with a final eyeroll I left the changing room, not caring about what he might do to me as a revenge. My shift went on prety uneventfully until 8.pm. when I clocked out, only to find janitor's revenge at the parking lot. My scooter 's seat was missing with only a dirty mop stuck in its place. "I guess I'm walking tonight."

  
It's just as I utter those words a whistle behind me makes me turn around, only to see Dr. Cox in his car with the window down, pointing at his passenger seat. "Get in, John."


	2. Sheets

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> pure smut  
i tried

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> comment please?

Dr. Cox is my mentor, my colleague, and I consider him a friend too. Even considering that last remark, he is still a very scary person to me, and despite his daily rants directed at me, the silence with him is way more terrifying. It took me four tries to successfully click the seat belt in, making it very hard for me not to get red in fice in frustration. The whole car ride was almost unbearably awkward due to the silence between us, and whenever I tried to open my mouth to speak, Cox shot a glance towards me that made me shut up before any words could even come out.

  
It surprised me quite a bit when he parked the car infront of his apartment building instead of driving to my place or the hotel. Last time I was here he basically kicked me out, but now I'm being dragged by my scrubs into his apartment and further. We cross the living room and there's nothing for me to do besides sheepishly follow him into the bedroom. There's baby toys on the floor as well as bunched up pantyhose with lacy thong beside it which I can only presume belongs to Jordan. For some strange reason the sight of it makes my stomach tighten, but there's no time to give it a deeper thought why, as I'm being roughly shoved onto the bed.

  
"How about we just talk?" I smile hopefully, but Cox scowls.

  
"What are you, an idiot?" he grunts, pulling off my shoes and tossing them behind him before nearly ripping off my shirt, my big head getting stuck in it. His coat and shirt go off in one swooping motion and I finally manage to wiggle myself out of the tshirt too. I reach for my stethoscope only to get my hand swatted away. "Keep it on, it's sexy." is all he had to say before tugging on both ends, forcing me to sit up and collide with his lips roughly. I fumble with his belt buckle for a second, unzipping his jeans, my hand awkwardly cupping his bulge just for a second as Cox let's go of the stethoscope, grabbing my neck with just one hand and pulling my cheeky hand away from his crotch.

  
"Nu-uh. Patience." Cox clicks his tongue and I suddenly feel embarrassed by my strange eagerness. I don't even register when he pulls my trousers down or how he managed to get off the rest of his clothes, but once again I am pushed onto my back, now his knees are pinning my arms down into the mattress. I finally get what's the idea here when he shuffles a small pillow under my head and stuffs his groin into my face, the tip of his semi-hard cock set on my lips. I willingly open my mouth, giving the tip few gentle licks before sucking it in and moving my head as best as I can in this restrained position.

  
It's only a few minutes until he starts thrusting into my mouth, not as violently as I thought he would. "Hey, look at me..." he groaned, tapping on my cheek. It was now that I realized my eyes have been shut tight. It takes some courage to open them and look Cox in the eye, but boy oh boy, the sight of his aroused face is incredibly satisfying. He's clenching his teeth and huffing, the corners of his mouth curling up as we make eye-contact and his hand slides into my hair, his thrusts slowing down. "You're definitely not a newbie at this, are you?" he chuckles, not giving me any chance to answer before thrusting in again and pulling out very slowly.

  
I swallow a bunch of saliva mixed with precum, it's salty and my mouth feels sticky, but it's not bad. It got me hard without getting touched, and of course, Cox noticed. He let go of my arms and shuffled himself down, straddling my thighs that I so desperately tried to rub against my crotch. His hands are calloused and hard but he's unexpectedly gentle and skillful with them, stroking my cock in long, lazy strokes. He's purposely avoiding the tip that's getting wetter by the second, my precum overflowing his curled up fingers.

  
"You jerk." I gasp when he lets go and scratches gently my groin, avoiding my dick completely and only massaging the balls. It's only riling me up more, this sweet torture of jerking me off, stopping, touching my body, and repeat, over and over again. My cock is red and throbbing, slick with precum, but he won't let me touch myself, and he certainly won't let me come. He strokes his still hard cock few times only to come back to mine to continue his torture. I'm losing my mind, I need to come, I'm so close...

  
"P-please, Perry..." my voice cracks when he lets go once more. There's a grin on his face when he gets of my thighs and roughly flips me over onto my stomach. Instinctively I lift my ass in the air to stop myself from rubbing my dick against the sheets, but it only results in Cox slapping my asscheek hard.

  
"So eager..." he purred, his breath warming up my skin. His warm tongue lapped over my hole so slowly and delicately my mind went numb and I hid my face between the pillows to prevent myself from crying out. The sounds coming from that place are so obscene yet so arousing, and it's even better when I feel his fingers sliding in slowly, one by one. Four in total. He touches my cock again, caressing it until more precum leaks out and-

  
He used my precum as a lube. I turn my head slightly to protest, only to get the wind knocked out of my lungs by a single hard thrust. I feel my back arching more as he slides out, thrusting in again, over and over in a steady rhythm that for my liking is a bit too slow. Compared to our previous sexual encounters Cox is unexpectedly...gentle with me. Sure the sex is rough, but he jerked me off, he stretched me out and even ate my ass for a solid minute.

  
"Don't hold your voice, let me hear you...call me Perry again, John." he gasped, his fingers tracing a line from my nape to my crack. I try my hardest to keep the sounds to myself, but Cox is sneaky, running his hand down to my cock and stroking it ever so softly. My voice bursts out and I can't stop it, it feels so good to be fucked and stroked at the same time, especially when such husky voice says your name.

  
"Fuck, Perry...ah, harder...Perry...feels good..." I moan, my cheek rubbing against the pillow as I'm unable to lift myself up on my arms and be on all four, but it doesn't matter. I'm closing my eyes because crying during sex is so uncool and I feel like the tears would come out any second. Cox slows down, his fingers running into my hair and tugging, bringing my face up-

  
Tap. Tap. Tap.

  
As I open my eyes I blink few times until they finally focus and I notice pair of slim legs in heels, one foot tapping the hard wood floor.

  
"J-Jordan!"

  
"You've got some nerve calling out her name."

  
"N-no, Perry, Jordan!" I moan when he thrusts hard and deep, finally looking towards the open door where the harpye of a woman is tapping her foot.

  
"Oh." he says nonchalantly, thrusting deep. "Let her watch."

  
His hand starts to stroke my cock again, this time firmly, his thumb circling the tip and I moan my brains out, vaguely noticing Jordan leaving and the slamming of the main door echoes as I cum hard, moaning his name.


	3. What?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> second half of this chapter is more of a filler for the next chapter  
episode 3 of season 4

My chest keeps rising and falling rapidly as I lay on my back with duvet covering only the necessary bits of me while Cox lays next to me stark naked, beer can in one hand and a cigarette in the other. He had me going for over two hours after Jordan left, shamelessly and in all positions imaginable we endulged in each other, scratching, biting, spanking...damn he even choked me a little. It freaked me out but it's quite hard to protest when you're struggling to breathe. It was always for a few seconds before he let go of my throat and kissed me. Befoe Cox I never had such wild hot sex, it was always pretty mediocre and like 6 out of 10 on a scale. He is solid 11.

"S-so..." I croak,my voice incredibly strained from all the sounds he got out of me. "Will you tell me what's going on?" I ask.  
Cox takes a drag from his cigarette, exhaling deeply before drinking the rest of his beer and tossing the cigarette butt into the now empty can. He set it on the bedside table and laid on the side, his back facing towards me. I grin when I see the red long marks my nails I left on him.

"Jordan wants to get married again." he grunted. "Seeing Carla and Turk's wedding really got her going. Now that we have a kid and she basically lives here majority of time, I don't really have a choice."  
I frown as my mind puts two and two together. My hand grabs onto his shoulder and I force him to roll onto his back again and face me. "So tonight, this whole thing...Perry, you knew she will come home. Was you letting her see us some elaborate plan to make her dump you?"  
Cox's eyes widen a little and I know I hit the nail on the head. I honestly doubt this little trick would work on Jordan, she's way too intelligent to fall for such obvious lie, even though her partner was burried balls deep in my ass.  
"You know what Newbie? I love her. I love my kid. At the same time I hate them both and want them to disappear from my life forever. You and Barbie have no commitment to each other, your break up doesn't mean shit. I'd rather pay child support than be with my ex wife, but guess what? Unlike you listening to my every command, I can't get her to listen because she simply won't hear it. So yeah, I used you, so what? If it works I'd do it hundred more times for all I care."

I'm slightly taken back, but I guess I should have expected this. There was never anything between us, we are barely even friends, all we did was have sex on three separate occasions and each time the reason was Cox being upset about something. With my back creaking I bring myself to sit up,my eyes scanning the floor for any piece of my clothing. I find my jeans but no boxers, and my tshirt is scrunched on the edge of the bed with cum stains all over it; he used it to wipe my face and stomach. I pull on my jeans and Cox's football jersey that's been draped over the bedpost before grabbing my bag with keys and phone, leaving the shoes, dirty shirt and my stethoscope all laying on the floor.

"Find yourself someone else to screw over. I have no intentions of being your chew toy, in or out of the hospital. See you at work, Dr. Cox."

Without looking back I leave the apartment and make my way down the stairs as there's no way I'm stepping into that creepy elevator on my own. As angry as I am I actually quite pity him, and Jordan too. She shouldn't have lied about the baby, and she shouldn't have seen what we did tonight. I leave the building and barefoot walk towards the nearest bus stop, pretending not to notice Jordan sitting on a bench with tears and mascara smeared on her face.

\--

After getting home and drowning myself in the shower for an hour I pass out in the living room, in only a towel, nearly sleeping through my morning alarm. I don't see Dr. Cox until late afternoon when my shift is nearly ending, and by the look on his face I can tell he was avoiding me but pretends he didn't. I honestly don't care, my hips are aching from last night and that's probably the only reason I hate him right now.

"Hey Elliot, wanna grab a burger or something?" I ask her as we stand besides a coma patient in silence. She flips her bang out of her face, something I really miss, before giving me a sheepish smile. Her eyes are puffy and I know she's been crying but this is a wrong place to ask why.

  
"Yeah I'd like that." she said. Turns out the reason for her tears was happiness, not a sadness, and the 'burger date' ended up being sharing a cereal bar by the vending machine in the doctors lounge. Apparently Sean is such an amazing boyfriend that a text from his wishing her a good day got her crying for an hour in the supply closet.   
"See ya tomorrow JD." she stands up, leaving me by the vending machine on my own. I mutter a goodbye but she's already gone. 

  
"Seems like Barbie is completely over you now. I must say, seeing you so miserable is extremely pleasing. Heartbroken expression suits you." Cox was leaning on the door frame, arms crossed and smug smile playing on his lips. Damn, how long has he been stood there? Well, who cares. My shift ends in five minutes and I don't have to interact with him at all.  
It's crazy how last night we were naked in bed and today we went back to the usual. Not many people can do that.

  
\--

  
Within few days my kissmarks and scratches disappeared as well as any remaining desire that I had towards Dr. Cox, and frankly I'm glad for that. Three days ago Ted told Cox that he and Jordan are still married which resulted into two of them arguing more than ever and Cox has been unbearably irritated this whole time. So much so I actually briefly considered to comfort him, until he screwed me over with naming both me and Elliot a chief resident, pushing us into the tiniest office in the hospital. I'm not so mad at her though, of course she deserves it as much as I do, Elliot is a good doctor, but I know Cox did it out of spite.

"Carla could you-" I turn to the nurse's station with a chart, only to find Carla on the side with Cox, talking to him in her 'I am tired of your bullshit' voice that is strictly reserved for him. I retract behind the corner and listen to their conversation. She gives him advice which I also overhear few minutes later when he talks to Molly. Go back to the time when you were happy. Divorce Jordan for real.

  
It's a stupid ceremony that those two have and we all had to be present...why? I don't know. Jordan does seem happier, she also treats me just as always, as if she didn't see me week ago in her bed with her husband. Carla gives me a nudge in the ribs, beckoning towards the happy couple.

  
"They've both been super weird since my wedding, and Perry is just strange. I told him to divorce Jordan and he basically told me to bug off, but then Molly said the same thing and he listened immediately. I think maybe he thought if he divorces on my suggestion, Jordan would leave him because she might think he still loves me and- JD, are you listening to me?"

As per usual my mind just wandered off and I could barely take in what Carla said. Not that I want to ignore her on purpose, but this topic isn't exactly most enjoyable for me right now. I stand there as Jordan and Perry kiss lovingly, his arms around her waist, her hands on his shoulders. Up till the first time me and Cox slept together I felt really guilty about having sex with her. Now it's all gone, and I also don't feel guilty about shagging her husband. Wel, ex-husband. I didn't expect him to open his eyes and make an eye contact with me while his tongue is down Jordan's throat, but he did, making me avert my eyes and promptly leave this divorce celebration. What the crap?


	4. Pager

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> next chapter will be better i promise  
i might throw in some smut

"Each and every one of you is going to kill a patient. At some point during your residency you will screw up, they will die and it will be burnt into your conscience forever. Hell take Pee-Pants here. He might go ahead and just get himself a good clean kill this morning seeing as his patient, Mrs. Samson is in DKA and he hasn't been tracking her phosphate level. Her phosphate level. HER PHOSPHATE LEVEL." Cox repeats, eyes directed at Doug frantically scribbling onto his clipboard.

  
"Doug, stop writing and go!" I yelp, making the guy frantically leave the group.

  
Sure, this isn't what I imagined when I asked Cox to give a little pep-talk to my interns, but I guess it's too late to back down and tell him to leave.  
"That young man has killed so many patients I'm starting to think he just might be a government operative. The point is, the harder you study the longer you just might be able to hold off that first kill. Other than that I guess cross your gingers and hope that the guy you murder is a jackass with no family. Great to see you kids. All the best." he grins, giving the group a double thumbs up before leaving.

"Thank you, thank you Dr.Cox." I utter. I'm pissed, because as much as I knew his talk won't be any uplifting story, I didn't think he would put such fright into my interns that it also upsets me. Ever since his finalised divorce few weeks back we haven't exactly talked or even been in the same room with just the two of us, but I'm trying, I really am. His words about eventually killing someone sank in me quite deep and I spent most of the day just trying to push that terrifying thought out of my head, but it kept me from being focused quite a bit.

It didn't occur to me to go and check my patient when Cox told me she died, I believed him, and it got the tension off my shoulders for the time being, until I saw her alive and well. It got me all kinds of pissed, mainly because after all this time I thought I could trust him. It dawned on me later that he wasn't lying to be cruel to me. He was trying to protect me, in his own cold ways, and also put me at ease. Which worked.

After clocking out and getting my jacket out of the locker I stay in the changing room staring at my pager that's been beeping for the past five minutes relentlessly without any message except for the repeating 'hey'. All the pages are from Cox but, what the hell does it mean? He clocked out an hour ago so I know he's no longer in the hospital, but why doesn't he just text or call me on my phone?

  
_beep_

  
** _'I'm waiting in the parking lot.'_ **

  
_beep_

  
** _'Hurry up already, I need to talk to you.'_ **

  
_beep_

  
_'**You got five minutes.'**_

I switch my pager off and toss it into my backpack before heading out and waving Carla and Elliot goodbye, wishing them the best of luck for the rest of the shift. I pretend to avoid Cox's car that's suspiciously parked on a different spot than usual, and make my way to my scooter. Just as I unzip the helmet off of the rear, the infamous whistle echoes in my ears and I'm forced to turn arund. There's no way I could pretend not hearing it.

  
"Can I help you, Dr.Cox?" I ask innocently. His brows furrow for a second, the same annoyed face he pulls whenever Carla is on his ass with some truths.

  
"I'm staying at your place tonight."

  
It wasn't a question.


	5. My place

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> smut

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been sick for the past week with fever and migraine and writing is so stupidly hard when you don't even knowhow to write

Tick tock. Tick tock. Tick tock.  
Without Carla and Turk the apartment is so incredibly silent I can hear the kitchen clock all the way to the bathroom where I currently isolated myself from my mentor. After getting in and drinking a whole sixpack of cheap beer from my fridge Dr.Cox closed himself in my bedroom, leaving me in the livingroom alone. I decided on the shower which I finished half an hour ago, but even though I'm dressed in my boxers and ready to hit the hay, I'm not actually ready to enter the same room as him. I settle on the livingroom sofa for just a few minutes before his voice echoes through the apartment, bringing me to my feet.

  
"You coming or not?"

  
Sigh. He's making it difficult for me. As I close the door behind me I notice Cox's clothes lazily hung over the edge of my bed and I can't tell if underneath the covers he has underwear on or not. "Then excuse me." I mutter, slipping underneath the covers and staring at the ceiling, unable to relax despite my exhaustion. Aren't we gonna have sex? Isn't that the reason he's here tonight? In my bed? The silence is almost deafening, and it's only when I hesitantly try to take a peek at him that I notice Cox is already laying on his side with head propped up against his fist, watching me.

  
"I thought about what you said before, perhaps we could talk. I don't want any of your advice or insight, but I'm gonna lay it on you just as it is." he pauses, sighing as if he's contemplating what to say. I know voicing his personal feelings is always weird for him so I just wait. "You were right, I used you to get Jordan off my back so she wouldn't marry me. It backfired when Ted told us we are still married, so now that we got properly divorced I should be happy. I know I should be, and I think I am, but...I don't want her at all anymore. Not as a wife, a lover, or a mother of my child, which I haven't bonded with at all despite my lies about how much I love him. I...I know I shouldn't have used you as I did."

  
"That's one half-arsed apology Dr.Cox." I chuckle as I roll onto my side to face him properly.

  
"I know it wouldn't phase her if I let her catch us again, she'd probably join in and pegged us both, this wouldn't work on her. Besides I don't-"

  
He doesn't...what? I already slept with her once, and if Cox is telling the truth about not having feelings for Jordan anymore, there isn't any reason for him to be bothered by the idea of Jordan doing something to me.

  
"-want her touching you anymore."

  
"Huh?"

  
"You heard me. I'm not gonna repeat what I'm about to tell you now, so listen carefully. You listening?" he asks as he touches my cheek and I nod. Damn, so intense. "You've been pissing me off ever since I met you, long before you shagged Jordan, you annoy me day after day, sometimes I get so frustrated over your own stupidity that it actually takes my sleep away. But I'm also very proud of you, how far you've come after three years of being an intern. Carla isn't the reason why I enjoy going to work anymore. I'm not saying we should start writing each other love notes and wear matching bracelets with hearts, but it would be quite okay with me if you got a little invested in me too. Perhaps text my phone when you're feeling lonely. Be a bit selfish." he says, thumb stroking my lower lip.

  
Shit, is this what I think it is? Does he wants us to be exclusive without actually dating? It's so strange to me, but I guess this is the best love confession I'd ever get out of him.   
"Selfish huh...?" I lift myself up, closing the gap between us and kiss him. There's still faint taste of beer lingering on Cox's lips but I don't really mind it. I guess this time it might be me using him, to get over any of my remaining feelings for Elliot. "Suck me off, Perry." I whisper hesitantly. It's only when he raises an eyebrow I let my voice get firmer. "Now."

  
Cox is quick to move, pulling down my boxers and diving right in with his mouth. I can't remember the last time someone gave me a blowjob, but clearly it mustn't have been as good as this because he got me hard within seconds. "Mmhm..." I groan when his tongue dips into the slit and his hands separate my legs just a bit so he can fit one hand under my ass. When his finger starts poking at my hole I decide to engage my hands too and run all my fingers through those brown curls that are way softer than I ever imagined. I tug at them when a finger slips inside of me, redirecting some of that discomfort into Cox. I push his head down but he doesn't seem to mind, even when there's some choking sounds occurring.

  
"Fuck Perry...you're so good at this." I groan again as I release my hold and watch as he spits out all the saliva and precum onto my hole. Kinky bastard, using my juices as a lube again. His fingers are rough as ever but he's still doing a pretty good job at stretching me.

  
"No, stay like this." are the words he whispers when I instinctively start turning onto my stomach to enable him easier access. I spread my legs more, letting Cox to grab and place my ankles on his shoulders. "I wanna see your cum face, Newbie." he grunts and I finally feel his dick pushing inside of me, stretching my hole with its girth. "Nngh, do-don't call me Newbie. Not now. Or any girls name...it's John...alright, Perry?"

  
"Demanding, I like that."

  
My calves are cramping very soon when Cox thrusts inside but I grit my teeth and endure this discomfort, because the pleasure is greater. He leans closer, our lips nearly touching and I can't hold my legs up any longer. Instead I wrap them around his hips, only tight enough so he can still move.

  
"It's amazing how tight you are." his voice penetrates me to my very bones and I shiver in excitement. SHit, what a sweettalker.

  
"Oh yeah? Does it feel good?" I bite my lip as my fingers run through his hair, pulling his face closer for a deep, slow kiss.

  
"Nnn yeah...love it..." he grunts as he bites my lower lip. I knd of wish he was a bit rougher, this seems way too gentle than before and frankly it's kind of freaking me out. I let go of his hair just as Perry's hand presses against my hip and he thrusts harder, as if he's reading my mind.

  
It's nearly mind-numbing how much stamina he has, because even after two hours we are still at it, changing positions and rhythm. "I can't..anymore...hurts..." I gasp, hoping I don't sound too girly. It blows my mind when Cox says "Sorry..." and pulls out, only to spill his seed onto my chest. Wow...not that sorry, are we?


	6. End

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ey this is the end. I had a plot in mind but completely forgot what it was, soooo...awkward ending.

It isn't a relationship. We aren't dating. Still, it's not just sex. What's between me and Cox is more than just a booty call and I know we both somewhat acknowledge it without saying. I know Carla probably noticed a little change in our dynamics but so far she hasn't said anything which makes me grateful. I'm not sure if she's doing it because she doesn't want to meddle or because Cox already said something to her that made her lips sealed. Either way, no one knows about us, and that's how it should stay.  
However certain event has managed to change things drastically, causing me to shut everyone out. Dan showed up, holding a cake, and I knew something was up. It wasn't until he said our dad died that I let him into my apartment and we talked, and I let him stay. That was a big mistake on my part, because in few brief days he put his hands on Elliot as if to add insult to an injury,which caused me to slip further into the bad mood I've been in ever since he came over. It truly pleased me when Cox called him the suckiest worst brother in existence, because I never would have thought he would stand up for me like that.   
It took few days but Dan finally left and I succeeded with guilting Elliot into apologising to me, even though it didn't really do shit for me. The more I thought about my reason for being irritated, the more I realised my obsession with her has disappeared. I don't love her. I was just pissed that Dan didn't really grieve as much as I did.  
"Well I'm off for today, see you Monday Carla, Turk...Dr.Cox." I wave my hand nonchalantly towards the nursing sttion where three of my closest friends are currently debating who should have deliver the devastating news to the family of a patient who died this morning, whose name I can barely remember. Carla pats my shoulder and Tur gives me a nod while Cox just stares blankly at the chart in his hands, his eyes unfocused. I know there's a newly found tension, ever since I called him a father figure two days ago when Dan left, he's been avoiding the eyecontact. As I walk around the corner I hear Carla lamenting about it. "You can't treat Bambi like this! I don't know what happened between you two but-" "That's right Carla, you don't know. It's none of your business." "He lost his dad, and his ex is hooking up with his brother. You should be more supportive, especially since you two..."  
"Carla there's nothing." "Oh please, ever since my wedding the two of you are dancing around each other, like some hungry animals. Besides, I've heard the two of you once. I forgot my ID and got home during my shift...I don't know anyone else who would say 'I wanna see your cum face, Newbie.' I know you like him, even though you will never admit it. Just...be there for him."  
I grit my teeth and finally bring myself to leave. I know she means well, but I'm not in the need of pity and comforting hug. I drive home where I drown in the bathtub for over two hours, thinking. I'm kind of glad Carla knows, although I'm pretty sure she will tell Turk, and I'm not so prepared for that. Turk did have some homophobic tendencies in the past, and I'd rather not lose my best friend. It's nearly night when I finally get out of the bath, fingers pruning up and my body freezing as the water got cold and less enjoyable. As I'm leaving the bathroom in my dressing gown a knock on the door disturbs the peaceful silence I've been enjoying and I have to go open the door.  
To my surprise, or rather no surprise, Cox is standing there with an annoyed expression. I slam the door as fast as I can,only to hear him press on the doorbell. "I'm not leaving. I know you listened to our conversation, open the damn door JD." My heart skips a beat and I freeze, hand on the doorknob. There is so many questions in my head but I can't muster up the courage to ask even one. I'm standing here naked with just a dressing gown on while the object of my recent sexual fantasies is pounding at my door because he wants to talk. It's awkward.  
"JD come on, if you don't open the door I will start yelling about how you are in the sack!"  
I swiftly turn the doorknob to let him in, my brows furrowed when I see that stupid smug smirk on his face. I'm immediately being eyes up and down but it doesn't make me blush like it normally would, I'm not flustered, I'm mad. "I honestly don't know why you came here, I don't need your pity. Dad's dead, Dan is shagging Elliot, you and Jordan are-"  
"I like you. I won't say it again, damn it's humiliating to even admit it, but Carla said you might like to hear it. I mean, I thought you knew, considering..."  
"Considering we've fucked few times? Oh yeah sure, you're so inlove with me. Carla is wrong, I didn't need to hear it. There is no 'us', there is just you and I, nothing else."  
"God were you always this childish? Look it's not easy for me to say these things, so I guess I'll just have to convince you some other way."  
My throat gets tighter as I dig my own grave with my response. "Oh yeah? And how are you gonna do that?"  
There is no hesitation in Cox's actions when his hands tug on my dressing gown, pulling the belt out of it's loop and exposing my nearly naked body. There's another tug and I'm pulled by my waist closer, close enough for our lips to almost touch, but instead I feel my neck being gently bitten when he makes his mark. His lips continue to make their way down and I find myself surrendering way too quickly, closing my eyes as his hands pull down my boxers and he buries his face in my lap. Exactly how is this different from the usual we do? Just stupid sex again. I lean against the wall and my hands slowly reach into his curls, tugging. "This...isn't that...convincing." I gasp. I'm promptly turned around and the dressing gown slides off my shoulders and onto the floor, his hands now spreading me apart and I feel his hot breath again, his tongue lapping at my hole few times until he starts licking me properly.  
I'm lost in the pleasure his tongue and fingers are causing me, so much so that i almost don't hear his whispering words... "Huh...wha..?" "I want to make love to you."   
Those words ring in my ears like a bell as Perry drags me by the arm into my bedroom, finally taking off his clothes too. I don't need him to try convincing me anymore, I believe him. Perry Cox who says he wants to make love to me, not fuck me... "Yes..."


End file.
